I would say about 90% of the people in the world today are better runners than me. And that’s counting the little tiny infants born this morning. Yeah—that would include you Kaylin. (Eight pound jerk.) Oh, hey, heh, congratulations Steve and Jess!

Last week was the first time in almost four years I exercised 5 days in a row, and I’m enjoying all sorts of benefits not least of which is the super-human ability to poop on consecutive days.

I was inspired by the women of Kyrgyzstan through a health training held last year. (The inspiration had a long incubation period.) I didn’t attend the training myself because, well, they were requiring participants to move and stuff, but I heard those ladies did well. Having made the mistake in the first place of showing up, many were required to jog in a little 5K and several of them did it in healed sandals and you know I wasn’t going to be shown up by that. I just happen to be able to shimmy and shake all up and down the catwalk in stilettos thank you very much.

Along with my previous mentioned feats of awesomeness gained from moving my feet slightly faster than normal, here is a list of other benefits I have observed: (Beat these ladies…)

• I can now touch my toes (one leg at a time. Let’s not get crazy here.)
• More people are talking to me when I leave my house (Yes, “Hey! Where are you going?!” still counts.)
• It’s forcing me to drink more water.
• (And on a related note) I’m getting more quality alone time in the outhouse.
• Increased appetite has encouraged me to cook. Anything at all. (Also my bread recipe has begun to be secretly copied by the housewives. Ask Nazgul if you don’t believe me.)
• It’s a good excuse to wear figure revealing pants in public. (Damn, does my butt look good.)
• The world seems more bearable. (Note the word “seems.”)
• It doubles as a fantastic new procrastination device.

All selfie photo attempts of me running ironically turned out blurry so I leave you with a pre-running shot while I was seeing the doctor in Bishkek. (Always consult your doctor before beginning any new exercise routine.)

This is actually part of a new experiment Peace Corps is doing to create a fleet of “Ironman Volunteers.” This new breed won’t ever need to sleep and can run all day, literally, on a diet of sheep butt and borsok alone. But—(clasps mouth)—I’ve said too much.